All to Myself, Nothing More..

I'm back to blogging. My life is just upside down right now and I don't know what to do.. Assignments, Examinations and another something that drives me NUTS .. The thing is.. i have a special someone which I treasure and I feel that I've done all I could. I thought we were made for each other, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I trust her so much, given her so much and after all that I am nothing but a stepping stone to her. All those lies.. All the lies that I thought was the truth. She who made me like this and throwing me away when I grew old and worn out and seeking new and much better toys that are much more tempting.. New toys that would break oh so easily compared to old models. Like nokia 3310 to smartphones. I'm a stupid guy.. The stuff that I treasured most has grown out of me and gave up on me and thats why I was forced to separate with it. I put up a strong front (mentally) when I'm with her but in truth I am also human, i get scared and insecure. Thats something 'you' will never ever find out. Someone like 'you' is far too good for me but I tried hard, gave it my all. Someone who makes me go deeper and deeper into the maze and suddenly disappearing and leaving me trapped in that maze searching. The fact that i told u jokingly that i'm infuriated by that guy that said those words was not a joke from me. The trust that is so fragile, so brittle that slipped and fell shattering it to a million pieces. I'm trying ever so hard to glue it back together. 'you' who had someone who would trust u and not doubting even for a second, never leaving your side, felt too safe and has begun going out on your own.. leaving behind the safety of that something and forgetting about how and why 'you' felt safe and is safe. Glue-ing back the shattered piece of trust takes a long time.. though if it is completely glued back, it will never be the same but alas with cracks and anytime the pieces would fall one by one again